Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet
Poetry Assignment #23: The Narrative Poem
Value Foods’ Hot Dog-Eating Contest
Land in stomach
Pound by pound
Go down easy
Now I’m feeling
Kind of queasy
They’re fine but then–
Here they come
Back up again
Trust me, they’re better going down than coming up! I tried to make up for not being gross enough in my last poem.
I personally eat only soy dogs, and they never make me ill. I’m sorry you had such a traumatic experience with the hot dog-eating contest.
Speaking of dogs, I’m sorry your paper’s torn. My puppy, Penelope, thought your homework made a delicious treat.
Miss S missed the point! The hot dog eating contest was awesome, not traumatic! Sometimes I think she just doesn’t get it. But her note gave me a great idea! I could do a live hot-dog-eating demonstration for the talent share.
Maybe Miss S and I could have a contest! She could eat soy dogs and I could eat regular hot dogs, full of whatever scraps they make them out of.
Miss S said no. She was already counting on me to be the MC, the star of the show.